The 4th of July: Rise

After realizing that work at the retail place torpedoed any hangout today, I realized that I was on my own.

There was a friend of mine who was going to go to another friend’s house to watch fireworks, but by the time we coordinated it was close to 9pm (fireworks start at 9:30pm). That and her fiancé didn’t want to leave she told me.

Crap. After calling all about 8 different contacts, I come to the realization that I might be doing this one alone.

And alone I was.

Many of my contacts are spread out apart, a consequence of me not having a central group of friends. Also one thing that I realized was that the girl who I dated 2 months back could have been here with me to enjoy the fireworks made me very apprehensive of watching the local fireworks show alone.

Which turned into an opportunity to be myself.

As I sat in a cross legged position on top of my car in a crowded parking lot (all the other general areas for viewing were packed!), my mind simply faded away in the background and my body came forth. What had been kept down came forth and listened and saw the massive fireworks display that. It wasn’t “I” who listened – the old me who was afraid of being by itself.

It was Me, who listened.

It is safe to say the it was liberating to watch the fireworks by myself tonight.

Why? Because it was me who was happy to watch the fireworks by myself. And if I’m happy when I’m doing something, then that makes me a happier person to be around with.

Till next time.

 

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