So after class on the 21st, my sensei asked me to prepare for my black belt test this coming next year. Surprised, I agreed. Still am kind of wondering “what did I do?”. I guess this is my own personal Christmas gift from my sensei.
The test won’t be until next December, so theoretically I have a year to prepare. I’m honored and flattered that I’m up for this test, since when past, it will represent the next chapter in my journey in the martial art. I am slightly disappointed however that this opportunity clients with one of my personal goals.
That is I wish to move out of the area and establish myself financially, personally, and professionally. This personal goal has been one that has eluded me for the past decade. This is something that I’ve been preparing myself for a very long time, and if I were to leave this area it would rob me of this great opportunity to get my black belt.
I am envisioning myself moving at least an hour away. What is concerning me is that I want to move even farther away, perhaps to a different state. I am currently looking for positions overseas teaching English. Granted, I am not pushing myself hard enough in that direction at this point, but that is the direction that I want to go in.
Should I stay? Or should I go? I guess with this opportunity I don’t want to disappoint my sensei, but at the same time for once I feel that I need to accomplish this for myself. I mean I figure I can always come back to test my buckle, but to move out of the house quasi-permanently is something that only happens a few times in one’s own life.
But I want to get my black belt? Hell yes! Is the most important thing in my life? No. Until I finally reach a decision on that question, I’ll begin training.
Like Thanksgiving, Christmas has always been a rather lonely time. Not that I mind at all; it just seemed that the whole idea of hibernating in the stillness of the snow in the middle of a forest (even though I live in an urban area) has a rather romantic feel to me. My family has never been very good about giving gifts, I think it was during my teenage years that my parents stopped giving gifts to my sister and I. This year isn’t too much different, at this point in my life I’ve gotten used to buying gifts for myself.
So I suppose that being asked to be tested for black belt is perhaps the best gift that I have received in a very long time.
Other than that, I have been fighting my first case of strep throat and a possible ear infection for the past three days. I finally got around to acquiring some antibiotics for my uncle and so far my recovery has been good.
Merry Christmas and I hope that you all are getting what you deserve.