The 800 lb Gorilla in my Heart

James McAvory - WantedI have always had this beast inside of me –  very energetic and tenacious. I remember growing up in my elementary school years how keeping this “beast” down is often a challenge; often resorting to me having a very short temper and very fiery attitude towards those who I deemed that time to be wrong.

Along with this “beast”, I have blind spots in which have dogged me throughout my life. I have the uncanny ability to cross boundaries; unintentionally pissing off those in my life. Friends and especially love interests in my past were victims of this ability. Much to my dismay even today it is still an occurring problem.

But it seems I have finally come to a place in which I can be part of this “beast”. I don’t know how to describe it but just within the past week, I can feel myself being more relaxed, more in the moment, more in the “here and now”, and my mind and body being more connected.

I have been waiting for this moment for a long, long time.

I suppose my message to those of you are that, your “true” side is not the one that people see everyday. Often times, your true side is the one that’s trying to get out. It’s your job to open yourself and not get in the way of it. Be balanced in your “opening”, otherwise you’ll have something like what I have – poor personal boundaries!


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