After a fresh round of public poking and prodding by JWS in front of the class and a quick lecture from him after class regarding me slacking off during the knife demonstration. This realization came to me suddenly:
I need to embrace who I am when I am alone and bring it on the mat.
Why? Because the person who I am when I’m alone is the one who is free from the influence of all the negative influences in my life – including the ones that screw up my presence and movements in Aikido.