And lying about the reason why I had to quit? No regrets.what.so.ever
I honestly didn’t know why I had accepted the position in the first place. Maybe I had artificially convinced myself that I had needed the money/the job. I had allowed my need to…take over my ability to feel, think critically, and trust my instincts.
Honestly, I had a bad feeling in my gut about this job back in November when I had originally applied. It was a gut feeling that haunted me all the way from November till the last week of March – which was when I had quit.
I do remember one moment in particular that stood out as “the” red flag – among the few that I noticed but don’t remember. It was the scene of a 5th grade girl who shouted out “God damn it” to runaway basketball that had bounced off the of the rim during brunch.
The director, who was next to me, then asked her “watch your language Danielle*”
All I remember was how…meek he was in his request. Now that I’m recalling it 7 months after the fact, it really did seem like he was asking her – a fucking 5th grader – rather than telling her to not cuss.
That should have the red flag for me to turn the other way and not look back. Alas, lesson learned.
As for my lie? I had stated that I had received a long term substitute assignment as the local Catholic school district. Of course, I did turn back to subbing as a form of income – but long term sub assignment there was not. I felt that my boss had no reason to let me go without discussion (he was short on manpower and couldn’t afford to lose one of his subordinates), so that’s the main reason why I lied.