Ode to Robin Williams

As many of you know Robin Williams unfortunately took his own life  last month.

Unfortunately I was never a big fan of his films – the only two movies that I saw was Mrs. Doubtfire and Hook. Also unfortunately, I may have missed the punchline when he died because I ended up treating it like any other celebrity death.

However it was something else that drew me to his passing; the circumstances. Being the curious fellow that I am I decided to do a little personal research into why he took his life.

Of course, why would such a prolific actor, comedian, and general saint take his own life after bringing so much happiness to others?

This question was answered after going though some the articles written about him by his fellow stars. One that struck me was written by Carrie Fisher. Her testimony, among others, seemed to point how even though Robin Williams could make people happy about themselves, he had the inability to make himself feel happy. She went on to state that he would “absorb the atmosphere of the room” and had “no boundaries [when it came to emotions]“.

I remember seeing this quote from Robins Williams a few years ago that struck me:

feel-alone

Now I realized, in my own way, that perhaps Robin Williams was a causality of his own greatness.

When you have ideas and/or see things that no one else can. When you are so different from everybody else to the point where do you feel alone, you really do become depressed.

After some time had passed of his death, I began to remember that I too had this same feeling. There are times – and they still happen – where I’m just around people where I’m truly alone.

The times where you can’t relate to people because of the humor you have, or the things that you see in people. You know the conversations would start as…

  • Me: “Did you that?”
  • Friend: “What?”
  • Me: “That…!”
  • Friend: “Dude you’re just weird for seeing (insert minor personal detail of person we’re observing”

I’d notice things; whether people are married or not, whether they have a significant other, whether they had a certain type of job. I’d go  out of my way to notice tiny details of people – even my friends!

But alas I’d always be scoffed at. Told that I was too noisy for my own good.

But at least now I can use my observations to entertain friends.

In the end, though I may have not cared too much about his passing, what I’ve realized is that my experience through life has odd similarities to what the great one was suffering through – which over the decades of his life, lead him to take his own life.

A lesson from him to me if you will. A lesson I intend on learning from one of the greatest comedians of our time.

Thank you Robin Williams, I hope you are much happier where you are now.

Still Alive + Training

australian-grown-tendrilI’m still alive

Yep, though a lot has happened. Lost a job, got a job, lost that one. Started personal training, went on a  shopping spree (mainly Aikido stuff). And am going through a lot of personal trials.

Started meditating at least 5 mins 5 days a week; so far it has worked wonders.

I’m just training myself for life nowadays. It’s an awesome feeling day to day, but it’s hard to explain to people that you feel like a different person but you haven’t done anything great (yet) in life. I guess I’m just waiting for those “great” things to happen.

But wait, I just reminded myself; I have to go out there and make great things happen!

Power vs. Strength

Screen-Shot-2011-09-26-at-3.23.33-PMWhat is the difference between having power and having strength?

That the theme of yesterday’s training…

Power is the ability to affect change. You can have strength, but not power. When you have power, you have strength.

On another note, I was told by JW Sensei that speed and power are close, and are often found together, especially when in the actual movement.

Have I experienced this difference? Hell yes.

All the memories of “setting” came back – but also the awesome memories where speed wiped out ukes.

The One Lovely Blog Award – July 2014

lovely-blog-award-1The One Lovely Blog Award nominations are chosen by fellow bloggers for those newer or up-and-coming bloggers. The goal is to help give recognition and to also help the new blogger reach more viewers. It also recognizes blogs that are considered to be “lovely” by the fellow-blogger who chose them. This award acknowledges bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with their viewers and followers. In order to “accept” the award the nominated blogger must follow several guidelines. I have these guidelines listed below.

First off, a big thank you to Susie Reece for the nomination and acknowledging how “lovely” my blog is.

The guidelines for the One Lovely Blog Award are:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award.
  2. Add the One Lovely Blog Award logo to your post and/or blog.
  3. Share 7 facts/or things about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform nominees by commenting on their blog.

7 Things About Me:

1.) I’ve been blogging since 2010. Through this journey I’m proud to say that my writing style has evolved numerous times and am looking forward to using this as a medium for my writing ability.

2.) Since graduating with my Bachelor’s degree, I never have had a job that earns more than $12/hr (I will be 29 in October of this year). That and I’ve never had any “corporate” job that most of my peers currently have.

3.) One of the biggest goals that I have for myself ever since I was 9 years old is that I would be able to support myself financially, professionally, and emotionally. An aspiration that has gone unfulfilled for 20 years. I hope to be able to do so in the next year.

4.) Back in elementary school, boys either wanted to be a cop, firefighter, soldier, doctor, etc. I wanted to be an explorer. Well actually it was to be in the US Navy – but now I realize now it was less about being a military brat than it was to be an explorer – both in the metaphoric and literal sense. I remember wanting to be this when I was around 9 years old. Due to my upbringing I was never able to revive this persona until only just recently.

5.) I’ve been living with my parents and younger sister for the past 6 years (since moving back from LA). It has been a very educational experience both with understanding my upbringing, how I was raised,  and how my life has been for the past 20 years . I can honestly say – without a doubt –  that I now understand why my life has been the way it is. Saying that, I now know what kind of journey I will need to take if I want to live a fulfilling life. (see #4).

6.) I currently am a first degree black belt in the Japanese martial art of Aikido. I’ve been training at my current school for 6 years now (coming in August). I got my black belt after 5.5 years of training – and that’s including the 8 month hiatus I took for my teaching program .  Honestly I wish I had found this earlier in my life. The lessons that I’ve learned along the way – lessons about life in general are irreplaceable in my current journey through my life.

7.) I’ve been seeing a therapist for roughly the same amount of time I’ve been training in Aikido. The initial reasons for me seeking her was that I was unable to keep a job for more than a few months time. Now the reasons have expanded through all facets of my life. Though this journey was not without its own hangups, I appreciate her presence in my life where there was no one like her to begin with. Along with Aikido, I can not imagine where I’d be and who I’d be if it wasn’t for these two things in my life.

Thank you again Susie for nominating me!

I don’t read too many blogs out there (much like books in my life). However, here are 10 blogs that I feel are worth reading given their tone of voice and their subject matter.

1. ) Big WOWO . You can find the direct site here. When I first started using this blog, this was one of the first sites I visited. Bryan does a great job as one of the best balanced perspectives on Asian American activism and the “going-ons” in the community.

2.) Ben Efsaneyim – Experiencing America as an Asian Man. Like Bryan, Ben focuses on the Asian-American community and the struggles that have affected the Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, etc. communities in the United States. However, his speciality is the issues surrounding (the lack of) Asian American male masculinity and how it often is a hot topic among Westerners. As an American born Chinese I often relate to what he writes about.

3.) Flo Li Blog – Patent awarding winning scientist turned Aikidoist. We’ve been in touch since the days that I started blogging and there are times where her view on things contrast sharply with my own – and that I feel is the “fun” of our online friendship.

4.) Addicted 2 Success (A2S) – Probably the site I visit the most in the past 8 months. Great source of inspiration and “what the heck” moments. Joel is an inspiration in what he does as well as in his own personal journey.

5.) Marc & Angel – In line with what Joel from A2S does, this husband-and-wife team has a “knock on the head” vibe to them that at the same time gives life a much needed kick in the head when it comes to positive inspiration.

6.) A Opinionated Man – This no-holds-barrel blogger has the wit of Socrates and the mouth of George Carlin masquerading as a Soju lover. It also helps that he has 33K followers.

7.) His Dark Side – This pair are hermits, but their devotion to Wing Chun Kung Fu and the true path are equal to none. Get to know your dark side

8.) Cook Ding’s Kitchen – Come on over for some Tai Chi Dumplings and Kung Fu chicken as this man’s kitchen is always putting out concoctions of Chinese martial arts and philosophy – with a liberal dash of Eastern philosophy on the side.

9.) Martial Arts Addict - This Viet girl rocks more martial arts than most men. As the name implies, her world is anything martial arts related.

10.)  Munhwa Experience – His description says cartoons on Karate, Kungfu, and the silly. He’s also Australian. So win-win.

Again thank you to Susie Reece for the recommendation, and I wish my friends good luck for the future.

Martial arts + Life

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